Recently I was going out for coffee with a friend. As we walked across the cobblestone avenue to get to the bakery where we were headed, I saw furry black dog standing on a stoop, happily wagging its tail at the woman petting it.
I wondered what it would be like to have a tail to wag when happiness welled up in me.
“If I had a tail,” I thought, “what would make it wag?”
I know a dog, Jazz, who gets so excited when friends come to visit that even a wagging tail isn’t enough to express her delight. She fetches her stuffed rabbit whenever she sees them approaching, then dances in a circle in the living room when they step through the door.
Her joy is simply irrepressible.
In contrast to Jazz’s unabashed expression of joy, a few months ago I was driving cross-country when an idea floated into my mind: I ought to start writing music again. It was something I used to do a lot of, and it brought me great joy.
When the idea arose, I felt a gleeful delight fill my being. If I’d had a tail it would have been wagging like nobody’s business. But immediately, another part of me slammed down like a sledgehammer, telling me that writing music was an impractical and illegitimate use of my time.
The joyful part of me was crushed, tucked its tail between its legs and whimpered back into a shadowy corner of my being.
Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to notice what had just happened, and I was horrified. I mean, for decades I’ve been exploring my own creativity and encouraging others to do the same, and even worse, what had just transpired in me felt like an act of violence.
I did some inner work on it. I listened to that part of myself that had squelched the joyful idea to find out what was going on, and I couldn’t help but feel compassion. It was so anxious, and truly believed that following my joy was a frivolous, irresponsible luxury that would lead to disaster.
Since then I’ve been coaxing my joy back out of the dark corner where it had retreated, because I sense that the things that bring me joy are precisely the things the Universe wants to bring forth in and through me. A few months ago I even took my guitar out of its case and have added to my morning array of spiritual practices one more: improvising melodies and harmonies on my guitar. Nothing yet has evolved into a full-fledged song, but my heart is happy.
So, let me put the same question to you: What things bring you joy? If you had a tail, what would make it wag?
I hope you’ll honor those things, because I’m pretty sure that if you follow your tail, you’ll end up where you belong.
I’ve been pondering this question lately, and it sent me to past journals in search of the results of the “strengths-based character” inventory I took on Dr. Martin Seligman’s website, authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu. The inventory results in a ranking of strengths from 1 – 25 or so, and Seligman believes (and is backed up by his research over many years) that if you engage in your top 5 or 6 strengths every day you will be happy.
The results seemed almost obvious to me. When I looked to see if any other combination down the list made sense as being close to my True Nature (Lonny Jarett’s transliteration from Chinese Traditional Medicine’s Five Elements term), it seemed less and less like me the further down the rankings I got.
After discussing this with a dear friend, she wondered about using these strengths to write a job description. Though the suggestion seems a bit daunting in terms of describing a job that exists in the “real” world, I think it’s a good exercise, especially since one of my goals for the second half of my life is to be primarily engaged in what brings joy to my spirit. I’ll be curious what emerges.
Thanks so much for this resource, Sara. I’m looking forward to taking the inventory myself. I’ll let you know what it reveals!
Ahhhhh. Just reading this made my tail wag. Smile.
🙂 Wag on!
I’m with you, Patricia! My guitar has been sitting out for several months now, just waiting for me to play it. Um… might some duets be in our future? THAT would definitely make my tail wag. Might even have to go get the stuffed rabbit.
OMG, that would be absolutely fantastic. Getting together soon has to be in the cards. (Hmm, do you suppose it’s possible to do Skype duets? 🙂
i have to say that what makes my tail wag are the wagging tails of my dogs! nothing makes me sigh and smile as much as 3 pugs either on my lap or close to me. they bring m great joy and peace. i wish i could wag my tail back at them!
I’m not surprised this particular post spoke to you, knowing how you adore your pugs!!
Some things that have brought me joy recently:
Singing with the toothless buskers in the Philly subways on my lunch hour.
Clipping lettuce for dinner from the front flower bed.
Not eating that chocolate sample snack.
Washing the table runner.
Getting my allergy shot.
Kissing my neighbor’s dog, head to snout.
And my joy: learning a new word. “Buskers”. Now I know what to call those performers in the subway and train stations who always make me smile.